It's the last week of CreComm, and I'm waiting for the last day. Anxiously waiting. I choose to use the word "anxious" because I find it's the most accurate description.
I suffered anxiety when I was young, but it all went away eventually.
It came back.
CreComm is a difficult course, and when the work load began to add up, my anxiety returned. I was terrible at time management (attending school full-time and working over 30 hours a week) and began to lack interest. What was the point?
October 2012 was when it started up again. I was in a bad place when it came to my five year relationship, school was overwhelming, and I couldn't find time for me. I couldn't relax.
I wasn't eating much, and was constantly dehydrated. I got extremely shaky, my heart was beating so hard at times.
One day in October I was about to start my shift. I remember holding a coffee cup in the back at the staff table, talking to a fellow employee. I don't recall what we were talking about, but what I do remember, is everything going black and hearing a smash.
I passed out.
Ever since, it has been back. Not to the point of passing out. But where I psych myself out, my make my anxiety worse and worse. I've tried different ways of dealing with it, but I don't think that I took seriously enough.
Thus, I'm looking forward for the end of the semester where I can stop and think. I'm sure that doing things for me that will change my thoughts to a positive.
1. Water.
2. Proper nutrition.
3. Exercise.
An anxiety attack started a couple hours ago, and just by writing about it, I have found that it helps a bit. Talking about it is important.
Things are looking up, and I know I have the will to change all of this.
Happy thoughts with you :)
